Your Daily Wisdom


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January 28th, 2012
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself.
Mitch Hedberg
January 27th, 2012

(Source: beautyinthebreakdown8)

January 26th, 2012
There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.
James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958)
January 25th, 2012
I wept as I remembered how often you and I had tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky.
Callimachus
January 24th, 2012
Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.
Arthur Stringer, “The Silver Poppy”
January 23rd, 2012
Old age is an island surrounded by death.
Juan Montalvo
January 22nd, 2012
Alas, God gives light to men, and the law sells it.
Victor Hugo
January 21st, 2012
Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
George Carlin
January 20th, 2012

(Source: nickthejam)

January 19th, 2012
A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him.
Elmer G. Letterman
January 18th, 2012
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
Voltaire
January 17th, 2012
Only six people in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to wield power but to attract attention away from it.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979)
January 16th, 2012
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Karl Wallenda
January 15th, 2012
The qualities he [the President] is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outraged. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhicker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979)
January 14th, 2012
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.
Jack Handey (1949 - ), Deep Thoughts